And there was always

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I started trying to hide that insecurity by being overtly flirty, which guys obviously took as a sign that I was interested, and I consequently ended up in a lot of relationships I had no real interest in being in and doing a lot of things I didn't want to in order to 'keep up appearances'. The first time I consciously realized what I was doing and actually managed to say 'Stop' wasn't until I was 17. But even afterwards the same pattern continued, with the only difference was that I was now completely aware of it and trying to deny it.

Even after it has been torn or stretched, little folds of tissue remain. During first intercourse, pain or bleeding you experience may be due to stretching your hymen, and is perfectly normal. However, that pain or bleeding may well also be because you had sex without being aroused enough to be properly lubricated, or did not use extra lubricant if needed.

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